I disagree with you on replying to comments and subscribing to comments.
I hate when bloggers reply to a few commenters but ignore everyone else - makes me feel like it was a waste of my time to comment. Either reply to everyone in the comments, or reply to some people privately, or don't do it at all.
I reply to every comment I get, with very few exceptions.
With regards to subscribing to comments: If you use Gmail, all of your replies will be in one email thread, and you have virtually an unlimited amount of space, so getting more email won't hurt you. If someone has a comment subscription, you should do it!
#9 almost killed me. Dyslexic or blind? BWAHAHAHAHA! I couldn't have said it better if I tried. And ditto on the Catchattica or whatever the hell it is. I'll never have it, either.
First of all, I love your cute little RSS Maria! I noticed it earlier and pointed it out to my husband cause I thought it was so cute. I might have to get one.
Another great post in your little 101 series - I agree with everything you said. I HATE those automated responses to comments. I still reply to every comment I get (if the person provides an e-mail address), but my blog is still small and I totally have time to do that and don't mind if someone e-mails me back at this point.
Maria, I love the cute little you on the sidebar. She is the very essence of you! Very cool and well worth the $2 (which I think is a total steal!).
Thanks for addressing this. I am most definitely guilty of #5 from time to time, but I swear it isn't 'cause I'm all about me. I just have a tendency to go on and on when I read really good posts . . . um, like right now.
I've probably violated a lot of these rules now and then, but I know I regularly violate the "no talking about yourself" one all the time, for sure. Allow me to demonstrate:
I can see your point, but to me, when it's appropriate, it's a good thing-- the comments make a blog a conversation instead of a speech, or at least a speech with a discussion afterwards. So the blogger talks about him- or herself, primarily, then finishes, and commenters take their turn and say, "Oh yeah that's great, I have a similar story or experience" etc.
And again, just like real life conversations, that's not always appropriate, and doing so excessively is tiresome and annoying, but by banning it, you're just asking for a world of blogs where people talk all about themselves and commenters show up to blandly praise them or parrot back whatever they said. I don't see the point. I like when people share their stories and thoughts based on whatever theme my post has set in their minds.
In rereading this, I realize that it sounds like I'm angrily ranting after being called out for something, but that's just the way I sound sometimes-- this is a great post, and a great series so far. It's nice to have all these things said out in the open by someone who feels free enough to do so.
You rule, and I'm sure when it comes to blogging, you must be right and I am wrong, because you do it much, much better than I do.
Oh lordy you cracked me up with your calling out of raw dog, or whoever the hell he is!!! I seriously laughed out loud! HILARIOUS! I, too hate CAPTCHA (I didn't even know thats what it was called 'til now)! I am looking forward to the next installment!
I swear, you are reading my mind on some of these things. And you're right about comments in my opinion. I love seeing a comment from you because I know you actually read the post and felt the need to comment. You don't just drop comments for the hell of it.
This is great! As a new blogger, these are very helpful. So now, to keep with it all being about me theme, I have a question: Let's say I have 10 comments on a post. Out of those 10, three of them don't have any way to respond to them. The other 7 I've emailed. Would it be a breach of blog ettiquette to respond only to those 3 in the comments?
I'm glad you addressed this. I feel like there are secret blog codes that no one has written down so you never know if you're violating them. The comment thing is the worst part. I can't ever find the email of the people who commented and whoa there I go talking about myself.
I think I probably wasn't clear with what I'm talking about as far as making your comment all about yourself, but, I don't know how better to explain it either.
I'm definitely of your same opinion and don't want to encourage a system of echo chambers by any means, which is why I don't delete comments, but there's sharing your personal opinion, a thought or experience that you had and there's writing a long, long comment, not necessarily focused on that opinion/thought/experience, but on you and yours.
I wish I was able to think of an example right now, but I can't.
María | Blissed
· 1 year ago
I do that a lot. Sometimes I'm lazy and I just email directly back when I receive the comment in my email, sometimes it's an answer I'd like to share with everyone so I comment on the post page and have it sent to the commentator's email too.
And sometimes I just reply on the comment page because it's not important. :)
But, people do things differently - take for instance Avitable [2nd comment on this post]. He has good reason for thinking you should reply to everyone on the page and if you're only going to respond to certain people, do it privately.
Your situation sounds a little like the one I had when I was on blogger, the one that made me give up replying to everyone - that damn noreply@blogger, and when I really had nothing else to say to some comments but something to say to others. You have to trust your gut. :)
Jupiter
· 1 year ago
I am so guilty of #5.I am aware of it though.Usually by the time I'm done,I say to myself,"You really should have just written that on your own blog".
#3...wow.Yes.Amen.In the past,I had 2 very regular "readers" who did that all the time. It's funny though when people ask a stupid question in a comment that makes it extremely obvious they did not read the post,otherwise they wouldn't have had to ask the question.Bugs the shit out of me...
Sharing this in my Google Reader cuz I know damn well there's people out there who need to read this.
Kat
· 1 year ago
I've said it before and I'll say it again, I HATE WORD VERIFICATION (I don't even like the word Captcha). It is my goal to completely ban them from the bloggy world. How much freaking spam do people get? I have gotten MAYBE two pieces of spam and I have NEVER had the word verif on.
For all you other commenters out there can I tell you how difficult the word verifications are on someone who has dyslexia? It is evil. TAKE THEM OFF!!!!!
Love your list, Maria. I completely agree with all of it. Again.
I wasn't in total agreement with your last entry (I'm long winded, but it's my blog and I've given up caring whether people like it), but this one hit the nail on the head for me.
There are certain bloggers who shall remain nameless, that come to my blog once or twice a month. It's on a pretty regular schedule so that tells me they are just going down their blogroll. I appreciate the readers like YOU much more. You aren't commenting so I come back to your blog, you are commenting because you are part of MY community and you like me. Or at least you are pretty good at making it look that way. :)
Oh look, I just talked about myself. Oops.
And CAPTCHA needs to just go away. I use Akismet only (well, I used to, I need to reinstate it) for comment moderation and I am proud to say I have only deleted one comment, EVER and it was also by a real life friend. Erm, ex boyfriend and he was aware of why I did it. heh.
Oops, talked about myself again, but at least you know I read your entry ;)
OHmommy
· 1 year ago
Phew.
I agree 100 and 10 percent w/each any everyone one of them Maria.
Back in the day, aka before Blogher, I used to comment back on nearly all of my comments (Not to gain readers) but to really be friendly with the community. I found a lot of awesome people this way. Honestly, I did.
And now. I think I found a solution. I have my top commenters on the bottom of my blog. I check in about twice a week with all of them. I scroll through their posts from the week and comment on the ones that really interest me.
I really like that it is working for me. I still feel connected to my readers.
Great lists and very helpful to me. I've thought about a lot of these things before, but just didn't know how to address them. I like commenting back in my comments, but have also followed up with more personal emails where I felt it was appropriate. I appreciate you putting this out there, it helps to have feed back on these issues.
Lovely list. I agree with it all! I never email a reply because, well, I use BLOGGER and that just doesn't work well. I DO make an effort to visit everyone's blog who has commented and leave a comment there, at least once. I never say "Thanks for visiting" though because I really don't care for those comments, myself. Kind of a "I didn't really read your post and I don't care for your blog but I feel obligated to comment here..."
If I stumble upon your blog via a comment, I'll bookmark it and read it till I feel overwhelmed and need to make cut-backs on my reads. It's a sad fact of blogging, but true!
What a great primer for bloggers. More people should be reading this series. Actually loads of people are reading this series - what I mean to say is this should be something that every blogger reads.
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anglophilefootballfanatic
· 1 year ago
I guess I am opposite of you on #2. I do try to reply to almost every single comment. And, that is the reason I went self-host. If someone takes time out of their day to comment, I would like to say, "Thank you."
Molly
· 1 year ago
CAPTCHA makes me feel like I am being set up to fail (though I admit to using the ol' word verification)
I wax and wane on replying to comments, sometimes I do if they ask something or if I have an update, but I don't expect they are read so I should really just email back. Hmm, yes I think I should!
Love the new sidebar you, super cute and a steal at $2!
Reading through the comments just reiterates that in blogging, you can't make everyone happy.
Replying to comments is such a huge issue for people. I reply in my comments section, but not to everyone. It's not because I'm a bitch or I'm rude or that I don't care about every comment, it's just that sometimes I don't have a response to a particular comment.
It's a no-win situation.
Great tips, Maria!
Jennifer, Playgroups are no pl
· 1 year ago
One more thing, I'm not sure if you know about the comment plugin that allows you to reply to commenters IN THE COMMENTS SECTION! It's fabulous!
You probably didn't mean to be funny, but this shit is hilarious.
You've also prompted me to figure out how to get an about me page for my blogger ... assuming that school and Coco let up enough for me to post there regularly.
Shamelessly Sassy
· 1 year ago
First off, Captcha makes me want to poke myself in the eye. I never know what those damn things say, and if it takes me more than 2 times to get it right, I just decline to comment. As a blogger, I think it is insulting when I feel like someone just comments on my blog in hopes of me commenting on theirs. When I first started blogging, I didn't mind, but I've moved on to wanting readers who have truly taken the time to read what I've said, even when it is crazy. I think it is always obvious when certain bloggers are out for comments; and in a neurotic fashion, make promises or discuss who and how they will comment. Comments aren't always indicative of traffic or writing quality anyway. I don't know; I just think it's played out. I'd rather have a lot of faithful readers than a lot of commenters that aren't paying attention but are merely hoping for reciprocation. (PS. I've been typing this comment FOREVER. I had to distract my kid with crayons twice.)
Mrs. Kitty
· 1 year ago
Oooh, I feel like the kid with her hand in the cookie jar. I'm totally guilty of #2, #5, and sometimes #6 (but only after I make a real comment). I was trying to be the opposite of rude, rather just showing my appreciation for them coming over to my place. Now here I am talking too much about myself. *slaps my own hand*
Thanks for the talking too. Will rethink things.
Oh and I couldn't agree more about that damn Captcha.
Well, everyone seems to have slightly different "rules", although I think there's a general truth to a lot of what you say.
Personally, I try to be sincere in my commenting. I think even if I am explaining my situation a little sometimes (in the right context), my heart is in the right place. I figure the blogger will know that. Hopefully.
I never get the word verification thingies right when I have to enter them either BUT, I have them on my blog because I don't want to moderate my comments (I'm not always available), and I don't want SPAM.
I was going to mention lame comments that are purely so the commenter can get some action on their blog, but I get so few I didn't want to alienate the few commenters that I have!
Good point though. Why bother blogging if you don't get to actually read anything and spend all your time jumping from blog to blog "spreading your seed"?
P.S. I'm copying you and getting an RSS Dolly of my own!
Oops. Now I am going to be all self-consious worrying about how many of these things I am doing. But, as my hubby said to me the other day,"if you think you're being followed and you REALLY are... are you still being paranoid?" Hmmm.
I have to say though, I do like it when the comment section turns into a conversation between the author and the different visitors- that's a big part of the enjoyment of reading (and commenting) for me.
M, I agree with you here. That Raw Dawg Buffalo crap ticks me off no end. I hate that kinda crap. I totally agree with comments in the comments, it's hard for me to remember who does it and who doesn't; and just like you, the last thing I want to do is subscribe to a whole bunch of comments and sit and sift through my e-mail all frickin day.
Amen to most of what you said. But, I disagree about the don't talk about yourself rule. I mean sure there are limits. But, when people share something of themselves it is probably because they can relate to your piece, it resonates, they are making connections. I sorta like that, oh but this ain't about me, is it. Bygones! Anyway, it is better than the obligatory, oh you rock, sunshine up the old ass comments that people usually leave when they have nothing more intelligent to say.
Karen MEG
· 1 year ago
Excellent. I am all over the place with commenting, and I feel that I offend some of the people most of the time, or most of the people some of the time ... or I'm just confused! I've tried to e:mail responses if I can find an e:mail (blogger suchs that way) , because, as someone else pointed out, I don't want to make the other commenters feel excluded. Or perhaps I should just respond to all on my comments page.
Then I would just do what I always do, end up writing a novel about myself in a comment .... but this would be on my own bloody blog!!! :)
You rule. That is all. Ok, that's not all. I love this. I'm straddling the line of your rules a little bit. First I comment on the post page, but that's because usually I provide info or backstory that may be interesting to others. But because I respond to a few, I feel like an asshole if I don't respond to all. So I do. BUT if someone asks a question, I usually email them. If I don't respond, it'll be that I don't respond to ANYBODY on that post. All or nothing. And fuck. I just broke your rule of excessively talking about myself. Damn. I suck. You rule. End of story.
I totally agree with your rules, especially about commenting - or 'pity' commenting or commenting to get more visits/comments to your blog. That's just sad.
I like the way you do things because it fits you completely. I also like how Avitable does his thing. I think if you're really reading a blog for the pleasure of getting to know a person and their mind, then you get a feel for how they do things and accept it. If something bothers you, then move along. You're just awesome. :)
I'm all about ME on your blog. Seriously, you had some really good points. I have to get rid of the guilts for not responding to everyone. I just hope they know that I appreciate the comments.
Thanks for the tip on blocking IP addresses. Very clever.
OH, and I love your new Avatar up there on the right. She does balance out the middle finger girl. ;)
I really like it when bloggers respond to their commenters in the comments, too. I try to do this but usually fail utterly.
Great list, though!
Bluestreak
· 1 year ago
the comments here about comments are so interesting. Hmmmmm. I know I´m guilty of at times leaving comments in hope of getting traffic on my blog (as a new blogger, you are told that the way to get traffic is to leave comments) or going through my blog and seeing who commented and commenting on theirs to encourage a return visit (or to remind people of me, not to get them to comment per se)...but it´s certainly not PURELY about that.
I´m not gonna leave a comment on something that didn´t strike my attention,or something that I haven´t read, just to squeeze a comment in. Period. It just seems like bad Karma and I wouldn´t want anyone to skim through what I read and leave a comment for that reason, cause I put a lot of heart and soul into what I write (sometimes, sometimes it´s just crappy rants). And I´m certainly not gonna stop reading someone´s blog that is awesome just because they never reciprocate or respond to my comment. Then the only one that loses is ME.
There are others though, that I stop reading, cause they never reciprocate or even recognize one of my comments, and they just aren´t THAT GREAT anyway. Mainly, I didn´t have a community connection with them which is important for me in blogging, although sometimes people are so damn good that just their posts are all the connection I need and I don´t need any love back, they´ve given enough.
AMEN to number 1! This is something I have been so paranoid about for the longest time...only just recently I've said FUCK IT!
I get loads of traffic but hardly any comments. I've taken it personally for the longest time and ya know what, it takes too much energy to fret about it the way I do...
However, I do have to admit to being one of those who will visit a site and leave comments time after time - well on posts where I think I have something to add to the conversation - and get kind of tired of never seeing a visit from said blogger. Again, it's probably their issue and not mine. Or, it could very well be that they think my blog sucks ass...which is fine. But I'd be a lying pig if I said it didn't get on my tits from time to time.
Awww, that was refreshing, confession without having to go to church!
This is very good advice. "Tough love", is what I'd call it.
I have one more piece of advice to share about commenting. If you really want comments you can always provide your own. I quite enjoy ripping myself a new one under the moniker Charles Whackman, who is my imaginary evil twin.
I hate those comments where they say "You made some very good points here" or something along that line, BUT... You did make some very good points here. You've given me some things to think about. Thank you. :)
sometimes i get the feeling that not only do people not read the post at all..but they are just piggybacking onto the comment that was left right above it.
All Comments
(Sorry, I couldn't resist :p )
Excellent work here, Maria. I'm guilty of talking about myself too much in comments (oh crap, there I went again.)
I liked #2. When someone makes a comment about nothing, it's really hard to reply to it.
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I hate when bloggers reply to a few commenters but ignore everyone else - makes me feel like it was a waste of my time to comment. Either reply to everyone in the comments, or reply to some people privately, or don't do it at all.
I reply to every comment I get, with very few exceptions.
With regards to subscribing to comments: If you use Gmail, all of your replies will be in one email thread, and you have virtually an unlimited amount of space, so getting more email won't hurt you. If someone has a comment subscription, you should do it!
That's my stance and I'm sticking to it!
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#9 almost killed me. Dyslexic or blind? BWAHAHAHAHA! I couldn't have said it better if I tried. And ditto on the Catchattica or whatever the hell it is. I'll never have it, either.
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Another great post in your little 101 series - I agree with everything you said. I HATE those automated responses to comments. I still reply to every comment I get (if the person provides an e-mail address), but my blog is still small and I totally have time to do that and don't mind if someone e-mails me back at this point.
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Thanks for addressing this. I am most definitely guilty of #5 from time to time, but I swear it isn't 'cause I'm all about me. I just have a tendency to go on and on when I read really good posts . . . um, like right now.
Bye.
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great post. :)
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I can see your point, but to me, when it's appropriate, it's a good thing-- the comments make a blog a conversation instead of a speech, or at least a speech with a discussion afterwards. So the blogger talks about him- or herself, primarily, then finishes, and commenters take their turn and say, "Oh yeah that's great, I have a similar story or experience" etc.
And again, just like real life conversations, that's not always appropriate, and doing so excessively is tiresome and annoying, but by banning it, you're just asking for a world of blogs where people talk all about themselves and commenters show up to blandly praise them or parrot back whatever they said. I don't see the point. I like when people share their stories and thoughts based on whatever theme my post has set in their minds.
In rereading this, I realize that it sounds like I'm angrily ranting after being called out for something, but that's just the way I sound sometimes-- this is a great post, and a great series so far. It's nice to have all these things said out in the open by someone who feels free enough to do so.
You rule, and I'm sure when it comes to blogging, you must be right and I am wrong, because you do it much, much better than I do.
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I, too hate CAPTCHA (I didn't even know thats what it was called 'til now)!
I am looking forward to the next installment!
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And you're right about comments in my opinion. I love seeing a comment from you because I know you actually read the post and felt the need to comment. You don't just drop comments for the hell of it.
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I'm definitely of your same opinion and don't want to encourage a system of echo chambers by any means, which is why I don't delete comments, but there's sharing your personal opinion, a thought or experience that you had and there's writing a long, long comment, not necessarily focused on that opinion/thought/experience, but on you and yours.
I wish I was able to think of an example right now, but I can't.
And sometimes I just reply on the comment page because it's not important.
:)
But, people do things differently - take for instance Avitable [2nd comment on this post]. He has good reason for thinking you should reply to everyone on the page and if you're only going to respond to certain people, do it privately.
Your situation sounds a little like the one I had when I was on blogger, the one that made me give up replying to everyone - that damn noreply@blogger, and when I really had nothing else to say to some comments but something to say to others. You have to trust your gut. :)
#3...wow.Yes.Amen.In the past,I had 2 very regular "readers" who did that all the time. It's funny though when people ask a stupid question in a comment that makes it extremely obvious they did not read the post,otherwise they wouldn't have had to ask the question.Bugs the shit out of me...
Sharing this in my Google Reader cuz I know damn well there's people out there who need to read this.
For all you other commenters out there can I tell you how difficult the word verifications are on someone who has dyslexia? It is evil. TAKE THEM OFF!!!!!
Love your list, Maria. I completely agree with all of it. Again.
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All excellent advice, Maria.
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I have to admit I'm guilty of #5 pretty often. Usually on Sundry's blog. She brings out some sort of insane confessional nature in me.
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And Captchkawhositwhatever just makes me feel stupid every. damn. time.
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There are certain bloggers who shall remain nameless, that come to my blog once or twice a month. It's on a pretty regular schedule so that tells me they are just going down their blogroll. I appreciate the readers like YOU much more. You aren't commenting so I come back to your blog, you are commenting because you are part of MY community and you like me. Or at least you are pretty good at making it look that way. :)
Oh look, I just talked about myself. Oops.
And CAPTCHA needs to just go away. I use Akismet only (well, I used to, I need to reinstate it) for comment moderation and I am proud to say I have only deleted one comment, EVER and it was also by a real life friend. Erm, ex boyfriend and he was aware of why I did it. heh.
Oops, talked about myself again, but at least you know I read your entry ;)
I agree 100 and 10 percent w/each any everyone one of them Maria.
Back in the day, aka before Blogher, I used to comment back on nearly all of my comments (Not to gain readers) but to really be friendly with the community. I found a lot of awesome people this way. Honestly, I did.
And now. I think I found a solution. I have my top commenters on the bottom of my blog. I check in about twice a week with all of them. I scroll through their posts from the week and comment on the ones that really interest me.
I really like that it is working for me. I still feel connected to my readers.
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(and I'm going to say FUCK because you said I can)
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If I stumble upon your blog via a comment, I'll bookmark it and read it till I feel overwhelmed and need to make cut-backs on my reads. It's a sad fact of blogging, but true!
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I wax and wane on replying to comments, sometimes I do if they ask something or if I have an update, but I don't expect they are read so I should really just email back. Hmm, yes I think I should!
Love the new sidebar you, super cute and a steal at $2!
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Replying to comments is such a huge issue for people. I reply in my comments section, but not to everyone. It's not because I'm a bitch or I'm rude or that I don't care about every comment, it's just that sometimes I don't have a response to a particular comment.
It's a no-win situation.
Great tips, Maria!
http://www.u-g-h.com/wordpress-plugins/wordpres...
You've also prompted me to figure out how to get an about me page for my blogger ... assuming that school and Coco let up enough for me to post there regularly.
Thanks for the talking too. Will rethink things.
Oh and I couldn't agree more about that damn Captcha.
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I fully agree on each pther point as well. I promise I did not skim ;)
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Personally, I try to be sincere in my commenting. I think even if I am explaining my situation a little sometimes (in the right context), my heart is in the right place. I figure the blogger will know that. Hopefully.
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I hate word verification but found that I had no choice when I started to get those auto comment things.
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Good point though. Why bother blogging if you don't get to actually read anything and spend all your time jumping from blog to blog "spreading your seed"?
P.S. I'm copying you and getting an RSS Dolly of my own!
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I have to say though, I do like it when the comment section turns into a conversation between the author and the different visitors- that's a big part of the enjoyment of reading (and commenting) for me.
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Great post.
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Then I would just do what I always do, end up writing a novel about myself in a comment .... but this would be on my own bloody blog!!! :)
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You're just awesome. :)
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Bwaaaa haaaa haaaaaa! I couldn't resist.
I delete that shit every single time. I even do it with a shout of 'deleted bwaaaa haaaaahaaaaaa!'
Cause I am freaky.
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Thanks for the tip on blocking IP addresses. Very clever.
OH, and I love your new Avatar up there on the right. She does balance out the middle finger girl. ;)
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I HATE when people do the 'thanks for stopping by my blog' comments. I want to hit them...with something big and heavy.
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Great list, though!
I´m not gonna leave a comment on something that didn´t strike my attention,or something that I haven´t read, just to squeeze a comment in. Period. It just seems like bad Karma and I wouldn´t want anyone to skim through what I read and leave a comment for that reason, cause I put a lot of heart and soul into what I write (sometimes, sometimes it´s just crappy rants). And I´m certainly not gonna stop reading someone´s blog that is awesome just because they never reciprocate or respond to my comment. Then the only one that loses is ME.
There are others though, that I stop reading, cause they never reciprocate or even recognize one of my comments, and they just aren´t THAT GREAT anyway. Mainly, I didn´t have a community connection with them which is important for me in blogging, although sometimes people are so damn good that just their posts are all the connection I need and I don´t need any love back, they´ve given enough.
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I get loads of traffic but hardly any comments. I've taken it personally for the longest time and ya know what, it takes too much energy to fret about it the way I do...
However, I do have to admit to being one of those who will visit a site and leave comments time after time - well on posts where I think I have something to add to the conversation - and get kind of tired of never seeing a visit from said blogger. Again, it's probably their issue and not mine. Or, it could very well be that they think my blog sucks ass...which is fine. But I'd be a lying pig if I said it didn't get on my tits from time to time.
Awww, that was refreshing, confession without having to go to church!
The latest from Auds at Barking Mad...Going Green, One Pet at a Time
I have one more piece of advice to share about commenting. If you really want comments you can always provide your own. I quite enjoy ripping myself a new one under the moniker Charles Whackman, who is my imaginary evil twin.
It's a little insane, but it's fun.
The latest from Richard Whackman...BEAVIS FOR CEO!
I can never get the CAPTCHA crap right either.
The latest from Scylla...Ahoy! ‘n Happy National Natterin’ like a Pirate Day!
The latest from Peter Parkour...Header Restoration: Phase Three: Painting
i am loving this post series. loving!
The latest from ali...who needs a pet?! it seems we already have one…